Confession Time

“I have a confession, my friend.”

“Really?” She raised a brow, her eyes piercing.

“Yes”, I continued. “I have a hard heart.”

Oh my.

My friend and co-worker, Cyndi Wilkens, and I were driving to our first in-house conference since the lockdowns of the last few years. Excited chatter filled the vehicle as I pondered how I would bring up the pause in my soul.

During those years of cancelled speaking, we experienced division in churches and families, judgments on those who differed in their opinions, and debilitating fear hung in the air.

I was not aware that little foxes were chewing on my vine, spoiling any potential fruit growth. Does a hard heart just happen or is it a slow decline? An insult added to another misunderstanding piled onto a sick body and an overwhelmed spirit. The heart is chilled, then cold, and then hard. It’s been said that if you go to bed with a cold heart, you’ll wake up with a hard heart.

Perhaps that’s why Scripture reminds us in Ephesians 4:26 (NLT), “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.

I did not sense my own anger, but I certainly was sad, emotional, grieving and a lot of feelings tempting me to bury my head under the covers.

Can you relate? Although we are now free to travel and not bound by restrictions, other things still threaten to kill our joy.

Today, I am checking on the condition of my heart. I’ve discovered that it doesn’t take much negativity to begin hardening of the heart.

What a relief to admit, confess, repent, and receive God’s best. If I hadn’t, I would have missed so much abundance at the conference. As it was, my cup was filled to the brim and overflowed as I freely joined in.

“Create in me a clean heart O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10